12 Days of Fasting & Prayer for Marriages - Day 12

Prayer for The Three Rs in Marriage: Resurrection, Restoration, and Reconciliation
Lord, today I pray for the resurrection, restoration, and reconciliation of marriages. There are some marriages that are dead or dying. Please bring them back to life like only You can. There are some marriages that need restoration. Please build them up, renew, and refresh them. There are some marriages that are ravished by so much hurt, emptiness, bitterness, and unforgiveness, that they are knocking on the door of divorce. If it is Your will, Lord, please break the chains and create a pathway for reconciliation. Help each couple come to You on bended knee, seeking after You and Your heart so that Your spirit will dwell within them and they will look at their spouse and their marriage the way You look at them. Lord, let our love for You help us love each other more deeply and sincerely so that nothing can separate us. A 3-strand cord cannot be broken. Lord, please be the cord that binds each and every one of us together the way You want us to be. I ask and pray all these things in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.

12 Days of Fasting & Prayer for Marriages - Day 11

Prayer for Anger & Conflict Resolution
Lord, you give us permission to get angry, but you do not give us permission to sin. Help us to remember: 1 quick and 2 slows - be quick to listen, slow to anger, and slow to speak! Please give us the wisdom to know when and how to speak the truth in love with one another. Please help us listen and receive constructive criticism with an open mind and heart. Help us put away all bitterness and wrath and learn to truly apologize and forgive one another when we have not treated each other well. Help us learn to resolve our conflicts in a way that is pleasing to You at all times. Again, help us to replace our fleshly desires with Your Holy Spirit so that our desires will align with Your will and Your way for our lives. Father, You are not the author of confusion and because of that, we seek to keep confusion and "messiness" to a minimum in our lives. Help us not go to bed angry and remember bring the issues we face to You for knowledge and understanding. Help us get through the rough patches in order to have a lasting, loving marriage the way You intended. We love You and thank You in advance for answering our prayer. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.

12 Days of Fasting & Prayer for Marriages - Day 10

Prayer for Marriages in Distress

Lord, today I come to You asking for help for marriages in distress. Only You know each and every issue that each couple faces today...and there are many. Lord, You said that we are more than conquerors through You so I am asking You to step in and make a mighty move to give wisdom and understanding, restore peace and joy, provide forgiveness and love, respect, compassion, and honor where those things may be lacking. Please remove our fleshly desires and replace with Your Spirit daily. Help each couple remember WHOSE they are and what marriage represents. Help us consistently remember that our marriage is not just a commitment but a covenant with You and a testimony of Your relationship with Your church. Our purpose goes far beyond our wants and needs to honoring and glorifying Your name. Cover each and every wife and husband who may be going through a tough time in their marriage, Lord. Protect them from the enemy and help them to remember, they are not enemies, fighting against each other, but to come together in unity to fight the one who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy what You have created. You are an Awesome God. You are a Healer. You are our Provider and Mender of broken hearts. We love You and we thank You in advance for what You will do for marriages in distress today. Thank You, Lord. I am believing today for marriages in Your Son's precious and glorious name. Amen.

12 Days of Fasting & Prayer for Marriages - Day 9

Prayer for Intimacy & Sex In Marriage
Father God in Heaven, please help us remember the importance of intimacy and sex in our marital relationship. Help us understand the difference and to keep our marriage bed pure and right before You. Thank You for the blessing of being able to love each other freely, deeply, and compassionately. Please continue to give us the desire to please each other in every way possible and not take for granted this area of our lives. Please remove any fear or reluctance to be completely transparent and naked with each other, emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally, and sexually as we grow in our love and respect for each other daily. Remind us to continually affirm one another and create a safe haven where we can always be open and honest with each other in our marriage. We ask and pray all these things in your son's precious name. Amen.

12 Days of Fasting & Prayer for Marriages - Day 8

Prayer for Spiritual Growth In Marriage

Lord, we learned You have guaranteed spiritual growth for every true believer. Thank You! I pray and ask that as we seek to pursue spiritual growth individually, that it will continue to increase our spiritual growth as a couple. Thank You for your grace and mercy as we seek after the things that are pleasing to You. Thank You for the blessings we experience because we know and trust You with our lives as we are transformed daily. Please help us continue to mature and live consistently under Your leadership and guidance in all that we do. In Your Son's Precious Name, we pray. Amen.

Verse of the Day

Like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, (1 Peter 2:2 NASB)

Food for Thought

What is spiritual growth and how will having it affect my marriage? That was a question I asked myself when my husband and I signed up for spiritual growth class at our church. We were separated and I was seriously contemplating divorce. Nothing seemed to be going right and we were pretty much done.

But God.

So, what is spiritual growth? The short answer is... 

More of Christ being expressed in my life through less of me.

Hmmmm. Simple, yet complex. Selfishness and self-centeredness have no place in the Christian life or in marriage. Yet, this is where many problems begin. These two words have a major affect on whether we will grow and mature or stay stagnant and immature in our faith and our marriage.

Understanding the purpose of spiritual growth is critical to our development as Christians. ~Dr. Tony Evans

I believe it is also essential to our development in how we relate to each other in our marriages. I could not have imagined that after only 12 weeks of bible study, individually and together, that our marriage would've done a 360.

But God.

We focused on the pursuit of spiritual growth and in turn, although not perfect, we've been blessed with a marriage the Lord can be happy with and use for His glory one day. We stopped focusing on what we want for ourselves and started focusing on what God wants.  With the spiritual growth class, we were also blessed with a support system of other believers who had been where we were and who we could call on when we felt like giving up.

Put it this way. We begin our marriages with God at the center. We stand at the altar and we take vows and make a commitment before the Lord. As life goes on, the Lord gets put aside when He should always be before us and in the center of all we do. Spiritual growth reminds us and give us the opportunity to know Him better, experience Him deeper, and love Him more so that we can have marriages that bring Him the honor and glory He expects.

Resources for Spiritual Growth:
Life Essentials, Dr. Tony Evans
Spiritual Growth Course, Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship Church

Sorry for the Interruption!

Please forgive the interruption to the 12 Days of Fasting & Prayer for Marriages. I will resume posting in the next few days.

I am recovering from a week long illness that had me totally out of commission, unbelievably, due to an allergy infection! It was so bad, I thought I had the flu and was quarantined to my room for several days until I was able to see my doctor to confirm what was happening to me.

What's so funny is, I started to think about all of the things I wasn't able to do because I was sick. I mean, it's Christmastime, I had just gotten started shopping! LOL. However, the Lord showed me some things I could be thankful for while I was "involuntarily" made to rest.

1. My family could carry on, maybe not at full capacity or like a well oiled machine, but it was still running.

2. I was given time to really rest and my family catered to me...which was H-E-A-V-E-N!

3. One of my Christmas gifts (new speakers for my car) was able to be purchased and installed without my knowledge...and interference. LOL (I'm awful at being surprised)

4. My husband was able to use the car to drive safely to and from work. We hadn't been able to take the van to the repair shop yet and we're trying to figure out how to do the "switcheroo".

These are just some of the many things I'm thankful for this holiday season in spite of being "down for the count". Being ill was a small price to pay for the blessings I received AND it gave me time to catch up on my personal devotional time and prayers. To that, I say, Lord, feel free to interrupt anytime You feel it necessary for me to break away from anything that distracts me from You.

You are good ALL the time and You know when we need interruptions in our lives. Thank You for giving me some much needed rest and allowing me to be refreshed enough to fully celebrate Christmas with my family today.

12 Days of Fasting & Prayer for Marriages - Day 7

Prayer for Faithfulness & Affair Proofing Your Marriage
Dear Heavenly Father, unfortunately, the issue of infidelity is an ongoing issue in many marriages today. It's no wonder with technology giving easy access to sexual images and connecting people who wouldn't otherwise make acquaintances. The ability to create profiles and attract the wrong element into their lives is ever growing. Lord, I pray that you will protect our bodies, minds, and spirits from all temptations to be unfaithful in our marriages. Help us remember we have a covenant with You to remain faithful to our spouse, not just a commitment or a contract that can be withdrawn or voided because we're unhappy or think the grass is greener on the other side. Help us be satisfied with who you have given us and do what it takes to stay connected to each other, not keeping intimacy from one another, giving place to the devil to rob us of what you meant to be holy and undefiled. We thank you for your grace and mercy for those who have already fallen into temptation but who are trying to rebuild their marriages. Be with them, Lord, and give them the strength, wisdom, and understanding so they can make it through. Whether they were the unfaithful spouse or the one who was wronged, give them the courage to fight for their marriage day by day. In your Son, Jesus' precious name, I pray and ask it all. Amen.

Verse of the Day
Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

Food for Thought
I don't know if you've ever felt betrayed by someone you believed would never hurt you. I have. In my first marriage, I was betrayed and, out of immaturity, I became a betrayer. I didn't have a healthy view of marriage and didn't care. I just knew I wanted out...by any means necessary. But in my current marriage, because I know the true meaning of marriage and I'm under the great teaching of a man who not only preaches the word, but lives it, I have a different attitude and commitment to being a woman of honor and faithfulness to my husband. In spite of the ups and downs, I know that my marriage is not a contract between me and my husband, but a covenant before my Heavenly Father. My marriage commitment is not something I want to play with or take lightly because what happens in my marriage is a direct reflection on my Father above.

I don't get it right all the time. Like I told my small group members the other day, I'm still a "hot chili pepper" and my mouth gets me into a lot of trouble with my husband. But one thing I dare say is that when it comes to being intimate and sharing my body, mind, and spirit, there is only one man who gets that privilege until death do us part.  I trust that my husband feels the same way. I pray for him everyday because I know the temptation to be unfaithful is real. There are opportunities everywhere. But I trust that God, who remains faithful, will continue to help my husband in this area, too.

Here are some resources to look into if you've experienced infidelity in your marriage and to affair proof it for the future:

• Affair Proof Your Marriage-Family Life Today
• His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage
• Your Marriage Counselor on Infidelity
• Protect Your Marriage from Affairs-Marriage Missions

12 Days of Fasting & Prayer for Marriages - Day 6

Prayer for Overcoming Obstacles & Strongholds in Marriage
Lord, you know the challenges each one of us faces. Please give us the strength, grace, courage, and wisdom we need to endure and overcome the obstacles and strongholds that exist in our lives. Help us to remember that our spouse is not our enemy and we should be daily fighting in the heavenly realm through prayer for our marriages. Our enemy, the devil, seeks to kill, steal, and destroy what You have brought together. Help us to recognize his tactics and put on Your full armor to be able to withstand his attacks. Thank You for always being our Mighty Fortress and Strong Tower! Thank You in advance for what you will do for marriages struggling in this area. Not our will but Your will be done! In Jesus' name. Amen.

Verse of the Day
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Food for Thought

God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.

The above is The Full Original Copy of the Serenity Prayer by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971). Nearly every organization that deals with overcoming strongholds has this prayer in their arsenal to use for combating the issue at hand. Whether it's struggling with fear, your past, low self esteem, addiction, codependency, or otherwise, this is one of those prayers you want to have ready and available at your fingertips, especially when you talk about overcoming obstacles and strongholds. The good thing is, you are not alone. Everyone has gone through or will go through something. No matter your race or financial status, age or religion, we all face challenges. What matters is what you hold onto in the midst of those challenges.

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny. ~Mahatma Ghandi

I love this quote. There are many versions but the gist of it, the basis, is to keep your thoughts positive because they make a difference in how you respond to things and how you will spend your life in the midst of your trials and storms. As we all know, there will be good, bad, and sho nuff ugly times in our marriages.  Negative emotions and stress, worry, bitterness, unforgiveness... These things do not build yourself or your marriage. They will destroy it! Satan knows this all too well so he messes with your mind to get you off track. Don't allow the enemy to turn your spouse into an enemy. Fight Him through the Power of Prayer consistently. Even though on the surface it doesn't seem things are getting better, just know The Lord is working everything out on your behalf.

12 Days of Fasting & Prayer for Marriages - Day 5

Prayer for Becoming One in Marriage - From "Me" to "We"
Lord, years of being focused on self can make it tough to relinquish our will and our way to our spouse. The idea of "bowing down" and humbling ourselves to another person's desires that don't match up to what we want is not always what we want to do. However, because it is Your desire that we become one in our marriage, we ask and pray that You will give us the wisdom and peace that surpasses all understanding when those times arise. Help us with our speech and behaviors that don't reflect You and Your will for our marriage or show love and respect for our spouse. Help us learn to release our will to Your will and our way to Your way so that we can move from "me" to "we" and ultimately, give glory and honor to You as a living example to others. Help us open our eyes to what You would have us to do together as one for Your purpose. I pray and ask all these things in Your Son's name. Amen.

Verse of the Day
And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, 'F OR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH '? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." (Matthew 19:4-6 NASB)

Food for Thought
...Marriage superglues you to your partner; you are no longer “me” but “we”. In God’s marriage math, one plus one equals one. ~Time of Grace Devotional

Superglue? Have you ever gotten superglue stuck to your fingers? It literally takes extreme measures, almost an act of God, to get that stuff off! It bonds to you and "becomes one" with your skin. So much so that when you finally get it off, you can see a replica of your fingerprint. That's what I thought of when I read the quote above. When we get married, we bond together like superglue so that we are, first, a replica of God, and in turn, form a replica and reflection of our spouse. We may not always think alike or have the same opinions about certain issues, but we do think in terms of, and in consideration, of our spouse so that when it gets down to the nitty gritty, we are one in how we move forward. It's not always easy, but I believe as long as we continue to try, one day we will get there the way God intended.

It's not a question whether we will become one, it's a matter of time. It takes time and effort and OBEDIENCE on our part. It takes commitment and sacrifice even when the circumstances aren't looking quite in our favor. I know that I, personally, can be super stubborn when I KNOW I'm right about something.

But God!

Ultimately, God is the master weaver in how we go from me to we in our marriage. Staying constantly on our knees in communication with Him, asking for wisdom, understanding, and being open to His guidance through His word and the vessels He chooses to place in our lives (Counselors, Pastors, Mentor Couples), is how we will move closer to going from "Me" to "We".  The Lord knows how to make one plus one equal one!

As we go into the season and a new year, what are some of the ways you can make God's mathematical equation a reality in your marriage?

12 Days of Fasting & Prayer for Marriages - Day 4

Prayer for Blended Families
Lord, I know you have a heart for blended families. So much so that You allowed Your Son, Jesus, to be born into a blended family! Thank you for your compassion towards us, because although we don't always get it right, with your help we continue to strive.  May you bring peace to the families who are struggling. Please give them wisdom and bring them to people and/or ministries who have compassion towards them to help them grow together in unity.  For those who are finding their way or who have found their way through the challenges so many blended families face, please help them remember to help those who are just starting out by mentoring and praying for them consistently. Thank you for providing a home for children without biological fathers and/or mothers in the home to train them up in the way they should go. Help those "bonus" parents and children accept and love each other in order to glorify you. Continue to bless and protect their homes from the seen and unseen. In Your Son's precious name, I pray. Amen.

Verse of the Day
By wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established; And by knowledge the rooms are filled With all precious and pleasant riches. (Proverbs 24:3-4)

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” (Romans 15:7)

Food for Thought
Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what. - Unknown

I was a single mom for over 10 years.  I thought when I finally remarried, the road of life would be less challenging.  After all, my husband and I were friends for many years, I knew his kids, he knew mine, WE were in love...what could possibly go wrong? If you only knew!

Honestly, I really didn't know what I would write today. I just knew that I wanted to pray for blended families during this time because I know from experience how difficult, yet, how rewarding having a blended family can be. It's been a blessing to watch the kids grow up and come into their own. It's been great to share in their good and bad times - together as a family.  I was just thinking about how much I love when the holidays come around and I hear kids are coming in from college and I have to figure out who's sleeping where and how much food will we need... All that good old stuff.  Then I think about the rough patches we had and some that we still struggle with... When it's all said and done, the good really outweighs the bad.

In the midst of it all, God has directed and redirected our family and our marriage - when we have aligned ourselves with Him. THAT has been the key to making it through the journey because without Him, NOTHING would be possible. Without Him, I probably would've thrown in the towel a long time ago.  Trust me, I was on the brink of no return at one point.  I KNOW my husband would've been finished!

But God! 

Through prayers and mentoring of other couples, spiritual growth classes, counseling, meeting with our ministry leaders and our lead shepherd, we have traversed the wilderness of our lives headed toward the promised land of blended family bliss. :-)  I say again, we're nowhere near perfect. We still have some mountains to climb, but, with the Lord by our side, I trust and believe things will work out for the best. Like the quote says above, we may not be blood, but we're still a family.  We may not like each other sometimes, but that doesn't erase the love we have for each other. We have been blessed with a "bonus" family.

If you are part of a blended family, or are thinking about becoming one, please pray for wisdom, and read up on the issues you may face and pray together as a family to guard yourselves against being a statistic. If you find yourself struggling, find a mentor couple or a blended family ministry and get counseling to help guide you through the ups and downs. Your family is worth it!

12 Days of Fasting & Prayer for Marriages - Day 3

Prayer for Biblical Purpose in Marriage
Lord, we realize that our lives are about something bigger than ourselves. You created us for a purpose that glorifies and honors you. Today, we pray and ask that You will bring us together to discover our common vision and the purpose You have for us in this life. We trust that You know the plans You have for us. Help us to abide in You so we can hear You clearly, gain wisdom and understanding for what You would have us to do, and live out our biblical purpose. Lord, protect us from the enemy who seeks to kill, steal, and destroy what you have brought together to fulfill Your purpose. Let us not allow attacks, distractions, or discouragement from others keep us from doing Your will. We pray and ask it all in Your Son Jesus' precious name. Amen.

Verse of the Day
Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? (Amos 3:3)

Food for Thought
During our marriage, we have gone through some "THANGS"!  We have dealt with a number of issues that come as a result of divorce and remarriage.  It has been a tough road, but instead of heading to "Divorce Court", we chose a biblical and healing separation to work on ourselves, our spiritual growth, and our marriage. During our separation, my husband would wake me each morning with a devotional via email and phone. He would read the devotional, copy and paste it along with scripture and his own commentary, email it to me, and then call me to read it to me and discuss. We spend anywhere from an hour to two, sometimes three, talking about what we learned and how we apply what we learned in our marriage. We continue to do this to this day!

One of the devotionals we went through is One by Jimmy Evans. It is one of THE best devotionals we've gone through by far and we've gone through many! One particular day, the devotion focused on "Common Vision". We talked about scheduling a vision retreat in order to "get away and spend time praying and talking together about every area of our lives—children, finances, schedules, romance, spirituality, friends, extended family, etc". We want to experience coming away from the retreat with a common vision to guide us through the year. (We're still in the planning stages!)

The truth is, your life is about something bigger than yourself. You were created by a great God to do something bigger and beyond “you.” Finding God’s purpose for your life together is one of the key foundations of peace and fulfillment in marriage. ~Jimmy Evans

Rather than copy the devotional, CLICK HERE for a link to share with your spouse and consider it for yourself. Pay special attention to the action items!

I've learned you don't have to be perfect to live out your purpose.  We are all still works in progress! However, be willing to be a vessel and stay in constant prayer in order to hear clearly what the Lord wants you to do.

Have a GREAT day!

12 Days of Fasting & Prayer for Marriages - Day 2

Prayer for our Roles in Marriage
Heavenly Father, we come before You once again thanking You for being our Creator. We thank You for Your divine order. Thank you for giving us a spouse to love and respect while we are here on this earth. Today, we pray that we will always keep You in the center of our marriages, through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Help us remember our commitment to You and to each other as Kingdom men and women. Grant us the wisdom to clearly understand the importance of our roles within marriage and apply what we have learned in our daily walk together. Help us be a shining light in this world and allow our testimony to help others come to know and grow in You.

Verse of the Day
Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." (Genesis 2:15, 18 NASB)

Food for Thought

Many of us have learned about and know our roles in marriage well. We know where to find the scriptures and how to point out what our spouse should be doing. However, the lack of application of what we have learned as it applies to ourselves causes the breakdown in many areas of our marriages. On our wedding day, our Pastor, Dr. Tony Evans, gave us this challenge:

If you are God's kind of man and you are God's kind of woman, you will have God's kind of marriage.

Therefore, the opposite is also true:

If you are not God's kind of man and you are not God's kind of woman, you will not have God's kind of marriage.

The Lord is very clear about our roles in marriage from the very beginning. Husbands, think about the responsibility of provision for your family and the responsibility to "protect and serve" your wife. Wives, what does it mean to be a "helper suitable for him"? How are you applying God's word to uphold your responsibilities so that you can be God's kind of man and God's kind of woman, so you will have God's kind of marriage?

12 Days of Fasting & Prayer for Marriages - Day 1

Prayer for the Institution of Marriage

Father God in Heaven, we come today thanking you for who You are. Thank You for creating the institution of marriage. Thank You for laying the foundation and giving us guidelines to live by for our marriages. Lord, today, we pray for the institution of marriage. Give us the strength and desire to have marriages that honor You. Help us remember why You created the institution of marriage and what it should look like. Help us trust and believe that since You are the Creator of marriage, that the application of Your guidelines will help us have marriages that bring glory to Your name. We pray and ask all these things in Your Son, Jesus' name. Amen.

Verse of the Day
“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” - James 1:5 (NASB)

Food for Thought
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” - Maya Angelou

I love this quote. It's simple and to the point. A lot of people get married with the right heart and the right intentions. They love each other and they want to live happily ever after. But most people, as they stand at the altar, take for granted the reality that marriage entails. It's not all roses and happiness all the time. It takes hard work and commitment to make it work and most marriages fail because they don't know any better.

The Creator of marriage has laid all the groundwork for us in His word and if you apply what He says, eventually, you'll have a marriage like He intended for you. The problem is we want to use God's word according to our will, not His, and that's where things go astray.

Marriage is a commitment and a covenant before God, not a contract that can be null and voided. When you study and learn more about what God says about marriage and apply what you've learned, you will do marriage better.

In your quiet time today, commit to study what God says about the institution of marriage. Discuss with your spouse how what you know helps you do better.