August 19, 2013

#KingdomWoman... Random Thoughts!

I've almost completed reading Kingdom Woman. It's been just a little over a month since I began this amazing journey of reflection and empowerment. I've been savoring each chapter so I can take everything in and comprehend what I'm reading. I can't wait til the online bible study! I think I was feeling exhausted in all the roles I'd been given as a woman. I was feeling somewhat overwhelmed. But to read God's word and hear His voice clearly as I'm reading about how He uses women in different capacities with different capabilities to carry out the purpose and plans He has for each one of us, I feel a new refreshment and outlook on life. I'm more aware of how He's brought some amazing women in my life through our small groups at church, through our Kingdom Woman Launch team, and even in business to help carry out His plan and purposes for me. I'm not ashamed to ask for help to push through any barriers or obstacles that prevent me from being all He's called me to be and I'm not ashamed to help and lift another sister up who may be going through something similar.

In the midst of finding me, I realized  that Summer seems to have gone by really fast! Where did the time go? Now that I think of it, the whole year feels like a blur. Today, I thought about all that has transpired in my life since last year. I watched my little girl become a woman almost overnight, my oldest bonus son just left to go back to college for his sophomore year, my middle son just got married and is entering his junior year of college, my oldest son is repositioning his life, my bonus daughter has a boyfriend, my youngest bonus son is a high school senior, and my youngest son is growing so fast I can't keep him in shoes! A lot has happened. 

Actually, last year at this time, we were still going back and forth about what my daughter was going to do after she graduated from high school. Everyone else pretty much had everything together. My bonus son was safe and sound in Lubbock, my middle son was safe and sound in Atlanta, everyone else was within reach here in the Dallas area, but she was just kind of back and forth. (Just like a little woman!) We'd talked about college but going straight to a 4-year university just didn't fit her 'personality'. She's always been a little... different. So when she mentioned she was interested in the military, I wasn't too shocked. Like her brothers before her, I'd given her three options to choose from but the mama in me was reluctant to let her go. I saw the benefits and opportunities but also the risks for any choice she made so I wanted to remain the mama bear protector. But she was old enough to make her own decisions and after numerous meetings with a recruiter, online research, and talking with my dad and others who chose the military for their career, she signed on the dotted line to become a U.S. Airman.

When the call came to let her know the date she would ship out for basic training, I became anxious and my heart longed for her to be a little girl again so I could keep her close by forever. But I knew I had to trust God to take care of her in whatever decision she made. I'd already prayed about this day for all of our children and I always asked The Lord for protection for them and the strength for me to release them into the world knowing He had them covered. Proverbs 22:6 resonates through my mind each time a baby bird leaves our nest. It was no different this time as I watched my daughter being sworn in. I left her sitting in the cafeteria waiting for the bus to transport her to San Antonio where she would be situated for at least 8 weeks with 'no phone, no cars, not a single luxury...' She already had her 'crew' together. LOL. I choked back tears as I got in the car to drive away. Of everything I'd been through up to this point, at that moment, I felt this was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. It took me quite a while to get used to it! But I did. This year has been a different kind of transitioning period for me... No more 'babies' so to speak and, as my husband says, heading into the home stretch of our child rearing years!

I'm just having some random thoughts about everything as I reflect on how quickly the year seems to have gone by. Please forgive me for rambling or not flowing like I normally do!

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